The Night She Was Taken To The Monster

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The Night She Was Taken To The Monster

by
Josephine A. Mustafa

[based on a true story]

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The night of June 13, 2012, was the night everything changed for her. Even though she was two months away from turning 24, she had always been this sweet, innocent, naïve little girl, living in her own perfect little world. Her parents and brother had sheltered her well from such crimes as she would witness this night, perhaps that's why this night was so life-altering and traumatising for her.

It was around sunset that her father took her to see a doctor. He was more of a religious person than a doctor, or so he claimed, but her father trusted him, so she obeyed. She was always a good girl, listening to what her father, mother, or brother told her, so she did not oppose. Regardless, she did cry. She cried all the way as she was taken to see this doctor. She was crying because she knew there was nothing wrong with her, at least, nothing this doctor could cure. He was a doctor of the mind and spirit, but her illness lied in the form. Her body was male, that was all that was wrong with her, nothing else. She was never confused about her identity, the only matter she was confused about was why her parents hadn't accepted her as their daughter. Still, she obeyed and went to see this doctor. Like every other time she had to leave her room, she cross-dressed as a boy. During the entire time there she kept her arms crossed, hugging herself as she didn't feel this was right. But her father promised her that everything would be alright. Her brother went with her to comfort her.

When they arrived, the sun was already down. Seeing the sun no longer in the sky, she felt more scared and started to cry. She told her brother that this was the time of day she would feel the saddest, and that she was usually in bed by this hour. But not this night. Not only wasn't she in bed, she wasn't even in the safety of her own room. Holding her as they walked towards the building, her brother asked her why she was crying. She told him that this made no sense to her; why were her parents doing this? Being transgendered is not a disorder, it's a deformity: you cure it by changing the outside, not the inside. Her brother held her tight and wiped her tears and told her everything will be okay. Like the gullible girl she was, she believed him.

She was led by her father and brother to a small chamber. It lacked colors and ornaments, and reminded her of a prison cell. She sat herself at the far end of a chair and remained there while she tried to refrain from crying. The doctor would be coming any minute now. And as promised, he came in. And then it happened. The minute everything changed; the moment she knew she would never be the same...

Into a chamber, she walked in,
Because her father had declared her a sin.
There, a monster awaited her,
Who took the appearance of a sir.
She did not greet him and say hi,
Or even look him in the eye.
It was because she knew that this was cruel,
And that this talk would soon be a duel.
But she was wrong, there was no talk,
Instead he attacked her with fists of rock.
Without a warning or even a note,
He hit her chest and strangled her throat,
Her face got red as she ran out of breath;
Her face got red as she welcomed her death.

But no, she did try to resist, she fought him with all her might, but she was weak. Furthermore, this monster was built like a mountain. She cried as she saw her dad and brother watch. Just then, before she ran out of air, the monster let go of her. She was grateful for that. But then, the monster hit her chest again, yanked back her head from her hair, and started strangling her again. As she chocked once again, she realised the cruelty of this monster; while other monsters would just kill her, this one was playing with her. It was as if it enjoyed having the power of god, to make her cry at will, and to play with her life as it pleases.

Then, she caught a break. The monster said it needed to go to the back room to get something. Once it left, she stormed up and tried to leave. To her great shock, her father held her down. She begged him to let her go, to leave right now because she knew this wasn't right; the monster was the insane one, not her! But no, he wouldn't listen. He pinned her down until the monster came again. Out of no where, the monster pinned her down with one arm, then, with the other, it shoved a piece of cloth up her nose. It was an ordinary piece of cloth, but there was something in it that made her cry. It burned. She tried to move away again and again, but she was weak. Feeling as if her nose was bleeding, she had an idea. She decided to lie. She told everyone that she needed to go to the bathroom to take care of her nose and to wipe away her tears. The monster denied her that right, insinuating that she would attempt to flee. Having her plan discovered, she calmed herself and stuck with the lie. She even forced herself to laugh a little, and then said that she would take her brother with her as proof that she wouldn't run away. The monster granted her that request, and told her the bathroom was to the east. Once she was out, she started off to the west where the car was parked.

She was now in a safer zone, she was out in the public, if the monster had followed her here, she would scream and people would see. She knew that would get her in trouble as well, because she too was committing a crime by living. She was a transgender, which made her the monster in this country. But she didn't care, she swore to her brother that she would never let that monster come near her again. What she told him was little, but what she felt was much worse. She felt more than violated, she felt as if she was raped.

She couldn't stop shaking for days even though she was in the comfort of her own room. She cried her self to sleep, and woke up to cry again. Now and again in the middle of the night she would wake up because of nightmares she would have, nightmares of her being raped by the monster. She would put on a dozen sweater and wrap herself in blankets, and she would still quiver on the thought of her being touched by him. She knew that she was traumatised, that she might never trust men to touch her again, that she had lost her will to live because of the night she was taken to the monster.